Quotes of people who say stuff that I think is funny.

I know that's a bad title, but that's all I could think of!

Back to Jokes! Jokes! Jokes!.


DAVE BARRY - On why Americans can be picked out easily as non-French people, even if they don�t wear the most typical of all American clothing items : Sneakers!

Sometimes we Americans try to blend in to the cafe scene, but the French immediately spot us as impostors, because we cannot pronounce the Secret French Code letter, which is ``r.'' They have learned to say ``r'' in a certain secret way that sounds as though they are trying to dislodge a live eel from their esophagus. It is virtually impossible for a non-French person to make this sound; this is how the Parisian cafe waiters figure out that you are an American, even if you are attempting to pass as French:

WAITER: Bonjour. Je suspect que vous �tes Americain.
(Good day. I suspect that you are American.)
YOU: Mais je ne portes pas les Nikes!
(But I am not wearing the sneakers!)
WAITER: Au quais, monsieur pantalons intelligents, prononcez le mot `Rouen.'
(OK, Mr. Smarty Pants, pronounce the word `Rouen.')
YOU: Woon.
(Woon.)
WAITER: Si vous �tes franais, je suis l'Homme de la Batte.
(If you are French, I am Batman.)


Ok, so there isn't too much here right now, but soon this page will be full of stuff to read about.